


i'm fallin' again

by plutomurphy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hugging, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Light Angst, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Sobbing, The 100 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutomurphy/pseuds/plutomurphy
Summary: “Listen- I really appreciate it but I’m not a talking-about-my-feelings kind of guy Madi.” Murphy paused to take a shaky breath. “Especially not with you. I'm supposed to be the one comforting you and protecting you. I promised Clarke and I-I won’t let her down. I can’t. Not again.” Murphy looked off to the side, unshed tears glistening in his eyes like waves yearning to crash.-Madi Griffin is kept from falling asleep by the sounds of Clarke's old friend, John Murphy, having a nightmare on the other side of the room. She decides that it's time to return the favor from when he helped her through a panic attack of her own earlier that day.
Relationships: Emori & John Murphy (The 100), Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Madi & John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	i'm fallin' again

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ: THIS FIC IS 1000% PLATONIC. I DO NOT CONDONE PEDOPHILIA IN ANY WAY. also, please notice that this fic is under the memori tag but memori is only rly mentioned? like emori is in the room with them but she's asleep so she's not a particularly active character in this one-shot.

The people of Sanctum were in a state of constant chaos. With Sheidheda’s rise to power and Indra, Murphy, Emori, and the other’s trying to stop him, it was hard to find a peaceful place in the corrupt little development. But finally, the crew was able to get some rest. Well, most of them anyway.

Madi laid on a couch-like piece of furniture while Murphy and Emori slept on a small bed on the other side of the room. Murphy wanted Madi to sleep in the bed with Emori, insisting that he could sleep on the little run-down couch, but Madi didn’t mind, she wasn’t going to get much shut-eye anyways. 

The events from the day plagued her mind like a deadly virus, memories flashing before her eyes that looked like night terrors despite being completely real. In defiance of that, Madi finally decided that she should close her eyes and count to 100, taking deep breaths along the way, like Clarke always told her to do back on Earth.

Just as she felt herself beginning to drift off she heard the creak of the floorboards to her right. She jolted up, the knife from under her pillow in hand, ready to strike. However, looking around the room she saw nothing out of the ordinary. She was about to lay back down and try going back to sleep but then the noise of heavy, breathing started to fill the space like a fog. 

“Hello?” Madi said quietly. The room was dark but the light of a candle made it possible for her to see if there was another person in the room with her and her mother’s friends, but alas there was not. 

Madi stood up walking over to the bed on the other side of the room, thinking that maybe she should wake up Murphy and Emori. That was how she figured out where the sounds of heavy breathing were coming from. 

Emori lay fast asleep, clearly a heavy sleeper, next to a shaking Murphy who was breathing heavily with tears smudged on his cheekbones. He was still asleep but he wouldn’t be for long. Madi decided after a brief contemplation that he had helped her earlier that day and she wasn’t just going to let him suffer. Murphy was family, she had to do something.

“Murphy- hey-” Madi started to lightly shake him awake as his breathing got heavier and heavier turning into almost hyperventilating. “Murphy c’mon.” 

Just then, Murphy sprung up in bed. “Get away from me! Don’t touch me!” yelled a newly awake Murphy, moving his arms in front of his face to shield himself from whatever plagued his dreams, similarly to Madi. 

“Murphy it’s just me. It’s okay. It’s just Madi,” she said, putting her hands up in the air to show him that he wasn’t going to hurt her. Murphy internalized something for a moment before roughly wiping the tears off his face and taking a shaky breath in. 

“Hey, are- are you okay?” he asked her, choking on his words. 

“I’m fine. Are you?” Madi said looking him over to still see that he was shaking. 

Emori had taken all the blankets so she wasn’t sure if it was because of that or because he was still trying to calm himself down. Murphy didn’t respond and looked around the room nervously, the shadows prompting his heart rate to speed up once again. 

“Here,” Madi said, draping a blanket from her couch over his shoulders. He quickly took it off and tried handing it back to her, but Madi refused. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Madi said. 

“And by that you mean?”

“The nightmare you were having. Do you want to talk about it?” Madi asked, sitting down on the bed where Murphy’s legs were before he tucked his knees under his chin protectively. He shook his head. 

“Listen- I really appreciate it but I’m not a talking-about-my-feelings kind of guy Madi.” Murphy paused to take a shaky breath. “Especially not with you. I'm supposed to be the one comforting you and protecting you. I promised Clarke and I-I won’t let her down. I can’t. Not again.” Murphy looked off to the side, unshed tears glistening in his eyes like waves yearning to crash. 

“I’ve talked Clarke through panic attacks before. You don’t have to be embarrassed. It doesn’t make you weak to be afraid. It’s the fact that you face those fears that make you strong.” Murphy laughed wetly, another tear or two rolling down his face. 

“You’re real wise y’know that? Clarke did a good job,” she smiled at him softly. A loud crash then echoed through the room when Murphy accidentally knocked some kind of fragile trinket off the bedside table with his elbow, causing the glass to break, luckily not shattering it but just breaking into a few pieces. 

“Hey- hey Murphy it’s okay I’ll clean it up. It wasn’t even that loud-” Madi started but Murphy began to sob quietly. His hands covered his face as red worked its way up to his neck. Madi frowned at him, wondering why he was so upset. It was just a glass after all. 

“What’s wrong? The glass didn’t cut you, did it? I can clean it for you if you want, Clarke taught me how back on the ground. Murphy?” he still hadn’t said anything, so Madi lightly pulled his hands away from his face, urging him to look at her. “I know I’m just a kid but I’m still your friend okay? You can talk to me.”

“It’s- It’s all my fault. Everything is my fault. I did this. I-I-I ruin everything just like the stupid glass and I-” Madi cut him off promptly, throwing her arms around his shoulders and resting her chin on his shoulder. 

“Murphy hey- that’s not true. You’ve saved your friend’s lives so many times! There’s a reason you’re still alive! You’re a great friend Murphy to Clarke, to Bellamy, to Raven, to Indra, to me. You’re a great boyfriend too I’m sure that Emori-”

“-Emori hates me Madi,” Murphy said, a sour grimace forming on his face. 

“What do you mean? Of course, she doesn’t,” Madi said furrowing her eyebrows.

“She always reminds me that I’m not good enough for her and she always gets mad at me for all these stupid things and I don’t blame even her because I’m just the cockroach, sticking around all the time even when nobody wants me to. Always have been always will be. And thank God she didn’t wake up from all this because she hates when I have nightmares and don’t even get me started on-”

“-Murphy,” Madi cut him off, pulling back from the hug to look at his face, “Emori may have a funny way of showing it but she loves you. I know she does. I see the way she looks at you.” Murphy looked up at her sadly.

“It doesn’t matter, Sheidheda's gonna end up killing all of us anyways. I know that Emori would get angry at me for giving up because she likes it when I’m fighting for my life or whatever, but I’m just so tired. I don’t want to do this anymore- I-I can’t keep living like this. Everything hurts and I just-” Murphy cut himself off suppressing another sob and Madi looked at him sympathetically. She pulled him back in for a hug, this time putting a hand behind his head to hold him close to her. Murphy tried to move her away from him at first but eventually melted into her embrace and let himself cry freely. He couldn’t remember the last time somebody cared about him like this.

Madi was trying to remember how Murphy had calmed her down during her panic attack and then she remembered that slowing his breathing could help him calm down. “Hey, can you try breathing with me? Just try and match my breathing.” Murphy nodded and breathed in aggressively through his nose trying to match his breaths to Madi’s that she had purposefully exaggerated. 

Eventually, Murphy calmed down enough to where he could talk without his voice cracking and his shoulders didn’t stutter. His eyes were still red, his throat was still raw from crying, and his hands were still shaking, but he felt better.

“Thank you Madi,” Murphy said softly, pulling back from the hug, leaning against the bed's headboard. “You didn’t have to do that y’know. I used to deal with this stuff all the time by myself.”

Madi shrugged. “Well, you don’t have to anymore. You’ve got Emori, Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Jordan, Indra, Miller, and you’ve got me too.” Murphy smiled at her and reached forward to ruffle her soft, dark hair.

“You are gonna do amazing things someday y’know that? You’re smart, kind, and a total badass? When I was your age I could barely handle sitting in a classroom,” Murphy said with a chuckle and Madi gave him a strange look.

“Someday? I slashed Sheidheda’s right eye and saved Indra’s life hours ago. Beat that.”

Murphy sighed, a grin still on his face, “No no you’re right, my mistake your majesty. You’re already doing amazing things.” Madi looked at Murphy and yawned, making Murphy yawn as well.

“You want to go back to sleep? I can take the couch this time. Seriously, I don’t mind,” Murphy said. Madi looked at him nervously.

“Actually do you think I could maybe, I don’t know-” Madi said, pointing to the small space in between Murphy and Emori on the bed. 

“Oh! If that would make you more comfortable then yeah, of course. I made Clarke a promise didn’t I?” Murphy said, lifting the covers for her. 

“Oh no, this is for you, not me,” Madi said slyly, showing him the knife that she had already stuck under the pillow.

“Fair enough, but if anybody asks it was the other way around alright kid?” Murphy asked, laying back down next to Madi, a just a few inches of space between them. 

“Fine by me,” Madi said, closing her eyes and then whispering, “goodnight Murphy.”

Before closing his eyes Murphy smiled another genuine smile, which was a rarity for him, but so what if he had gone a little soft? Emori would just have to get over it. Madi Griffin was worth going soft for.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope u guys liked it everybody on twitter thought i should write it so feel free to tell me what you thought !! :)
> 
> also yes the title is meant to be harry styles


End file.
